NY therapist Colette Dowling discovered women’s deep-rooted conflicts about independence and labled the syndrome The Cinderella Complex. The Cinderella Complex has ratings and 50 reviews. Mallory said: I thought Lean in, Cinderella In , Colette Dowling came to speak at our school. 22 quotes from Colette Dowling: ‘We have only one real shot at liberation, and that is to emancipate ourselves from within’, ‘Once established, the young girl’s.

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Return to Book Page. It is not nature that bestows this self-sufficiency on men; it’s training. Ringkasnya, buku ini mengetengahkan bagaimana kisah dongeng Cinderella sebenarnya telah menyerap menjadi impian setiap gadis.

But she was also not there. It has been built up over cojplex years by social conditioning and is all the more insidious for being so thoroughly acculturated we do not even recognize what has happened to us.

The Cinderella Complex – Exploring your mind

The complex is said to become more apparent as a person grows older. Women continue to want anyone male to look after them and make things ok, and simply will not risk confron I’m really sorry I read this book so close to the end of the recent election. There are no discussion topics on this book yet. The woman who believes in herself does not have to fool herself with empty dreams of things that are beyond her capabilities. A Twist in Time I found though that it manages to be quite timeless and remains current and useful.

I do not understand. The Cinderella Complex is also an escape from responsibilities. Women are relational creatures.

The Cinderella Complex: Women’s Hidden Fear of Independence

Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. It is less common for women to use declarative statements when they speak. Instead I read all of it, stopping occasionally to word-vomit all I only read this book because a man returned it coletfe the library, and one of the men whom I do not believe returns things for a wife or mother, but only checks things out for himself.

Everyone deserves their own happy ending and sometimes that does not include prince charming at all. Copyright Colette Dowling, Contact: But nowhere does Dowling talk about what I feel is a bigger problem: Boys go out exploring more often and when they do they are praised for it. If a woman is pretty and smart, she is hated by both men and women: In six months I had not met one deadline or gone through the friction involved in working out a dowliing with a publisher.


It can already be quite hard for icnderella, heteronormative middle-class conderella to get away from an abusive relationship, or to be able to become financially independent if they’re trapped in a marriage where the husband holds all the financial power and likes to stay that way. The only saviour the boy learns about is himself.

Goodreads helps you follow your favorite authors. View online Borrow Buy Freely available Show 0 more links Cpmplex are probably used to hearing about emotional manipulation. The dependency on others rather than being independent yourself.

Princess Cinderella Cinderella II: This affects how women think, act and speak in all women to some varying degree conscious or otherwise. As I was approaching the end of the book, I got the impression that maybe Dowling got most of her opinions and arguments from men or simply, as I mentioned earlier, she’s biased.

By using this site, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. However, the suggestion to middle class women that they should hire housekeepers in order that they would have more time to pursue their own dreams and goals was outright offensive to me.

Cinderella complex

She could work on herself, challenge her stepmother, and create a sparkling future for herself. Physical timidity or hypercautiousness, being quietly “well behaved”, and depending on others for help and support are thought to dowlibg natural – if not outright charming – in girls.

What if you were to rely on someone else to support you, or survive on very little yourself? At night I slept dreamlessly, though I often found it hard to get up inthe morning. Girls are trained very differently than boys. A great book, for any woman that is as fresh and valid today as it was when it was first published.

The emotional dependence issue can still be very relevant to many women, I think, disregardless of other factors, but it’s worth mentioning that it’s not a very intersectional book in that dowlibg, and that not all women would be able to get out of harmful relationships or get their ‘freedom’ financial independence, jobs, education, etc with the ease that the author sometimes describes.


It has given me so much to think about and made me realize some Incredibly Dowlkng beliefs that I have and has Changed my Life – I believe for the better. Although this may not be officially recognized as a psychological condition, it is an interesting concept to keep in mind and could be an explanation for how some women feel. The peacemaker, a kind of half-person who chooses to dowlinv along safely behind her husband, Mother is protected from the more abrasive aspects of life in the world.

The feminine response 4. For being “nice” – nonchallenging, nonconfronting, noncomplaining – she’s rewarded with good grades, the approval of her parents and teachers, and the affection of her peers. Aug 06, Theresa Griffin Kennedy rated it really liked it. See 1 question about The Cinderella Complex‚Ķ. It is based on the idea of femininity portrayed in that story, where a woman is beautiful, graceful, polite, supportive, hardworking, independent, and maligned by the females of her society, but she is not capable of changing her situations with her own actions and must be helped by an outside force, usually a male i.

colettte It’s very true that women often bring the dependence to the equation because of their upbringing, and the author does also mention oppressive husbands and men who hold all the financial and executive power, but she never seems to focus on the fact that many men promote this system and seem to be pretty happy with the arrangement, never actually encouraging anyone to gain more independence whatsoever.